It's been a long time since I've visited this part of Blogland. If you want to get caught up on some writing-related ramblings, check out The Ponderers' site. If you prefer short bursts of communication (like me), Tracy and I are both on Facebook and Twitter. And, as for the Tracy and Jenness team...well, there's a lot of exciting stuff happening! I'll try to give you some of the scoop in a nutshell.

1. A website is in the works! We're pretty excited about it. It's going to be fun, and is going to be designed by the amazing Jason Walker of Website Ministries fame. We're on his waiting list. Yes, he's my husband, and I still have to get in line. Figures. ;-) The design concept has been discussed, though, and it's going to be great.

2. Yes, we have been writing. Just not on here. :-) One fun project is the Bloomfield series. Nine authors are collaborating to write a series of books, novellas, short stories, ebooks, and more, based on a ficitious small town in Mid-America. Bloomfield has an active garden club, numerous quirky characters, and a lot of romance--must be due to the gorgeous roses blooming everywhere! The first book is written by Gail Sattler and it releases this fall. Think you can guess which characters were our brainchildren? Check it out here.



3. I got a dog. Yes, I know. He's worthy of a blog himself. Maybe sometime we'll interview Watson on here. I'm sure he'll have plenty of juicy stories to tell...although he'll probably chase moths instead.

4. Tracy is graduating!!!!!!!!!!! No picture for that one yet, but she's been working so hard over the last year to earn her college diploma. And soon she'll get to wear that beloved hat and gown and take a stroll down the aisle. So proud of my amazing co-author!

5. Bliss is available for $2.99! Yes, you read that right. Get it on the Kindle (or the Nook, I believe) for only $2.99. And you don't have to even have a Kindle--you can download a free app for the your computer or whatever and read it there! (The print version is also still available online.) Oh, and if you've read it and liked it, would you consider posting a review online and/or recommending it to your friends? We'd love for more people to know about Indie and the rest of the gang!


Until next time,

Jenness

Then it comes like a sucker punch to the gut, and you realize that all of the preparation in the world could not be adequate enough to fend off the hurt that you feel.

Rejection comes in several forms. Sometimes it comes with a list of things that are wrong with your story. Sometimes it comes with a list of things that you can do to improve your story. Sometimes it comes with no explanation at all, and you are left alone to scratch your head and wonder what you did wrong.

What comes next tells the true tale of who you really are. It is the story behind the story.

Do you dismiss the criticism and vent to all of your friends about how some stupid person had the nerve to find fault with your work? Do you ignore the advice and eat seven bowls of chocolate ice cream all the while mumbling that someone didn’t recognize genius when they saw it? Do you throw your hands up in the air in defeat while pitching your manuscript in the trash? Do you walk away and never attempt to tell a story again?

Or do you work through the hurt and then take a long, hard look at your manuscript with honest eyes? Are you willing to do anything and everything within your power to become a better writer? Are you teachable?

Your reaction to rejection reflects the truth about you.

Having recently faced a publisher’s rejection I have been pondering this concept, and I have come to the conclusion that it is applicable to more than just the writing aspect of my life. You see, at the exact same time that I have been facing rejection as a writer I have also been facing rejection in some relationships.

The reality is that a life fully lived is going to require some vulnerability on my part. I am going to put myself out there…and I am going to be judged.

Inevitably, rejection will be a part of the process at times, and there is nothing that can be done to adequately prepare for pain that is soul deep. Sometimes it will come with a long list of my faults. Sometimes it will come with some advice on how I can improve. And sometimes it will come with no explanation at all.

What am I going to do with this experience? Will I retreat in fear? Will I lash out in anger?

Or will I work through the hurt and take a long, hard look at myself with honest eyes? Can I learn something from this process that will make me a better human being? Am I teachable?

As a person, and as a writer, I wish that I could say that my first reaction to rejection has always been mature and well thought out. However, if I am going to speak honestly I have to say that I have felt hurt and angry and afraid.

But I have felt the unwavering gaze of God on me in the swirl of my emotions. He is my one true thing. The One who sees all of my faults and does not walk away. The One who loves me in spite of me.



~ Tracy Bowen

Indie decided to interview Tracy and I over on Ralene Burke's blog. Stop by and see how it went! And thank you, Ralene!

2. Running across Bell Buckle, TN. How fun! Loved that place, with its one row of great shops, and drinking from old-fashioned Coke bottles.

3. Abbeville, SC, with it's cemetery with long epitaphs about Civil War soldiers, watching a hysterical play at the old Opera House, hanging out in the town square, and eating cheesecake in Abbey's Alley while an elderly man played the saxaphone by flickering lantern light.



Fine. I'll stop. Now it's your turn! What are some fun or disastrous memories you have from past roadtrips?

~ Jenness 

Last week, our publisher emailed us to let us know we finaled...in a contest Tracy and I hadn't even known we entered! Written World Communications submitted Bliss to the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. Bliss was a finalist in the humor category (see below), and the awards will be presented in New York! Another book from WWC placed first in the religious category. Congrats to Caron, and to WWC! Click here for a full list of finalists.   

HUMOR/COMEDY

WINNER ($100 PRIZE):

• Buffalo Unbound, by Laura Pedersen (Fulcrum Publishing) (ISBN 978-1555917357)

FINALISTS:

• Bliss, by Tracy Bowen & Jenness Walker (Written World Communications) (ISBN 978-0982937709)
• Cascade Chaos: Or How Not to Put Your Grizzly in the Statehouse, by William Slusher (Country Messenger Press Publishing Group, LLC) (ISBN 978-0961940751)
• Journey to Virginland: Epistle 1, by Armen Melikian (Two Harbors Press) (ISBN 978-1935097518)
• Laughter: The Drug of Choice, by Nicholas Hoesl (LaughterDoc Publications) (ISBN 978-0615437354)
• Once More Into The Breach: A Personal Account: Reliving the History of the Civil War, by Mark Brian Swart (Outskirts Press) (ISBN 978-1432763862)

What can I say? There is a small part of me that loved the romance of it all. I loved the dress. I loved the pomp surrounding the ceremony that was so rich with tradition. I loved listening to the prayers and the vows because, let’s all be honest, everything sounds better in a British accent. I loved listening to the pure, authentic voices in the choir. I loved laughing at some of those silly hats.

It’s a love story. And, at the end of the day, the woman in me responds to that.

While I found the whole thing fascinating, there are times when I cringe at the thought of the royal wedding, because I know all of the gals are getting caught up in the idea of their own “prince” swooping in to rescue them from the pain and problems of their past and whisking them away to their very own well-planned out version of happily ever after. Having been married for almost eighteen years, let me just go on record as saying this scenario is not anywhere close to reality. Before you fall out of your computer chair and then climb back in it to send Matt mass emails full of sympathy because he has the sad misfortune to have me as his wife…let me explain.

I came into this whole marriage experience with a lot of expectations. Marriage was going to be the great band-aid that made me all better. I wanted happiness. I wanted him to fix me…and yet at the same time I held myself back from him because my entire past experience had led me to believe that men will always hurt you. Talk about a lose-lose situation. Poor Matt. He never stood a chance with me.

Matt is just about as close as a man can get to being the perfect husband. He gets me. He is not bothered by the fact that I am not into cuddling and sharing feelings--I need space--yet he knows I am romantic enough to appreciate flowers and love notes from him. He has incredible talent in the kitchen, and has made me some mouth-watering meals. His work ethic is off of the charts. He is very skilled, and is good at literally every single thing that he attempts. I have yet to see him take on a job that he does not complete well.

He surprises me with things that really matter to me…like a freshly painted office. He supports me in every single thing that I do. He is an awesome, hands-on dad. He always makes an effort to let me know how beautiful he thinks I am, and there is not a doubt in my mind that, four kids later, he still finds me attractive. And--this one is very important--he makes me laugh.


It’s a love story.

~ Tracy

I love this time of year. The weather is amazing, and the flowers appear to be more vibrant. Easter, and everything that it represents, is one of my favorite holidays. It just seems as if you can feel hope lingering in the air offering new beginnings.

As of two years ago I have added a new reason to find spring so special. On April 16, 2009, our family experienced a miracle.

That evening we decided to take our kids to a park close by our home. Our eleven-year-old, Caleb, decided he wanted to ride his bike. We were going to be right behind him in our van with so we agreed to let him.

To get to our destination we had to cross a two lane road. Caleb was in front of us so he got there first. I saw a car coming, and assumed that Caleb saw it as well. (If I had a dollar for every time I have told my children to look both ways I would be writing this little story from my vacation home in Europe.)

And then I saw his foot move on the bike pedal.

What happened next is without a doubt the most bizarre moment of my life. I knew exactly what was going to happen, and I also knew that I could do absolutely nothing to stop it. My husband realized as well, and immediately began screaming, “No, no, no,” over and over and over again. It was a blood-curdling sound like nothing I have ever heard from him before or since.

Before our very eyes, the car struck Caleb full on.

His body flew up over the hood of the car and disappeared. The vehicle came to an almost immediate stop. I frantically scanned for Caleb, but could see nothing. My husband was the first to jump out of our van and he began running towards the accident, still screaming that one word desperately. I sat stunned. My brain simply could not process what had just happened.

I finally gathered my wits and yelled at our other children to not move a muscle, then I took off running as well. I was not hysterical. It felt like I was having an out of body experience…as if I was looking down at this horrible event as it happened to someone else. I rounded the back of the car that had hit him, and saw that Caleb was in the grass on the opposite side of the road. He was trying to push himself up on one elbow.

My first thought was, “He’s moving! He’s alive!”

My second thought was, “He should not be moving! We don’t know what is going on inside of his body!”

I screamed at him, “Don’t move! Please, don’t move!”

Though I have no memory of grabbing it, I looked down and saw that my cell phone was in my hands. Immediately, I called 911. It rang, and rang, and rang some more. I was frantically talking into the mouthpiece, “Pick up! Pick up!”

Finally, a lady answered. When I told her what had happened she asked for our location. I relayed what road we were on and a few landmark buildings, but she kept saying she needed an actual physical address. To this day I have no clue what she wanted me to say. There is no physical address for car/bike accidents that occur in the middle of the road. I don’t think the third pothole on the right side of the road qualifies.

Bystanders were already gathering, and since it was our neighborhood we knew most of them. One man sensed my frustration at the emergency operator and took the phone from my hands.

I then dropped to my knees beside my son. His face looked horrible. One cheek was just raw, oozing flesh and his arm looked bruised and swollen. And that was what I could see. God only knew what was hidden beneath his clothing.

I can tell you that fear is more than an emotion. It envelopes your body and takes over all of your senses. It smells like burnt rubber and freshly plowed dirt. It has the salty taste of tears, and crawls down your spine like clammy sweat. It looks like flashing lights. And it sounds like your child crying over and over again, “I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.”

Before I knew it we were surrounded by a barrage of rescue workers. The scene was completely chaotic. Looking up from the ground, I saw the man who hit Caleb standing by his car with a look of utter shock on his face. My heart went out to him. He had not been speeding, and there was nothing he could have done to avoid what happened. I remember thinking, “Oh, that poor man. He thinks he may have killed my son.”

I tried to get his attention and told him, “This is not your fault. He pulled out in front of you. There is nothing you could have done.”

The medics were working with Caleb, and very quickly told me that because of contusions to his abdominal area that he would have to be life-flighted to a nearby hospital because of the possibility of internal injuries.

My mind just went numb.

Completely heartbroken, I crouched on the side of the road, my face in the dirt beside Caleb as they strapped him to a gurney. I just kept repeating, “Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.”

It was all that I could think to say. I knew He was our only hope.

Caleb started going into shock as they loaded him in the ambulance that would take him to meet the trauma hawk that had landed in a field nearby. His body was shaking uncontrollably. They would not allow me to get in the chopper with him.

And so there I stood, watching as my son was taken away. There is not a more helpless feeling on planet earth.

Some friends drove me to the hospital. They prayed out loud as we sped down the road, but I still could not formulate a plea of my own. My mind just kept repeating that one word. Jesus. It felt like the longest ride of my life. I had no idea what news might be awaiting me when I arrived.

Our evening of horror turned into a night of miracles when, after cat scans and x-rays, it was discovered that Caleb had no broken bones and no internal injuries. He was one sore, bruised, road rash covered little boy, but he was alive.

We found out later that night the true extent of our miracle when my husband talked to the man who hit Caleb. He told us that every evening he drives a large service truck home from work.

But not that night.

On that night he was driving a little Honda Civic.

This past Easter Sunday morning I listened as “Your Great Name” was sung in church. I love that song. I suppose it is because the accident is so very real in my mind at this time of year that the words took on such special significance.

“Sick are healed, and the dead are raised, at the sound of Your great name.”

As I walked through this memory and recalled how His name was the only thing my traumatized mind could think to say, I felt the full impact of verse fourteen in Hebrews chapter four.

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God.”

In the grief-stricken utterance of His name, He heard the cry of my heart.

The suffering and death that He so willingly endured allowed Him to take on the role of the Great High Priest. In the glory of His resurrection He has become the intercessor.

Every single moment in our lives when we feel the impact of the painful, sinful world in which we live, He comes running to our side. He crouches in the dirt and despair that surrounds us as our minds scream in desperation, “I don’t want this! I can’t take this!” His heart breaks when our hearts breaks.

And there as we struggle to survive our darkest moment, He stands before the Father on our behalf. His wounds strongly plead for us.

Every hope that we have is fulfilled in that one precious name.

Jesus.

“Jesus, worthy is the Lamb, that was slain for us, Son of God and man, You are high and lifted up and all the world will praise Your great name.”

~ Tracy